i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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