In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's rum buckets o'clock
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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