this just has baby written all over it
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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