Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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