is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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