Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
