Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It was confusing and full of hummus
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
