ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
