So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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