im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
