he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
