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He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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