You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
