I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
