Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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