I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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