Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
