all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
