he puts the penis in happiness.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
