How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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