he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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