Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
