ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
