The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize