the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
