I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
