do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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