i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
