yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
