what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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