I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I intend to get homeless drunk
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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