so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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