She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
