Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
