Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
