there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
