Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
