My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize