I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
