I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
