Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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