Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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