whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
