i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
