Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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