just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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