It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
