She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
