We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
