Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined

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(856): View more from New Jersey

He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

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(214): View more from Texas

Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy

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(616): View more from Michigan

Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds

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(404): View more from Georgia

So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.

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(716): View more from New York

I was doing good, then they gave me free shots

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(337): View more from Louisiana

well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.

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