It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I did not marry a roomba.
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