I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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