turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
