Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
