I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize