Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
