I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
