Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
