Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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