he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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