I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
