i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
